sub conscious mind. we all have it. its like a treasure really. thats one place where u can dream and u have absolute control in it. u can slap people in it, kiss them, take them down...create ure own ddlj...its one place where dreamz actually come true. but then those eyes open and u realize shit danmed it was a dream...the slap the kiss was all fake...i was not a vampire....runnning with my edward.....
psychology teaches us that repressed desires take forms of dreams...and this sub baby is very interesting.
so last night i dreamt that im in little blue dress and lukin almost like dia mirza...standing in a balcony..and then there are footsteps. i turn and there he is....edward....now i know its plain silly...its nonsense....but that one minute i thanked my mind for weaving such a beautiful scene.
nut fun happens when you are wide awake and the mind plays a trick. you think that the door would open and bang on that someone special will come by...
love this aspect of the human mind
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
what the hell is love?
After carefully analyzing love for some years and through my friends experience i have concluded that one is in love when he or she feels complete in that persons presence. Being complete is a bliss one hopes for because not every one feels that serene composure. It's that utmost happiness one cannot describe and that no matter how mad you are at that person or how bad the day went that persons presence makes you smile and makes you forget every disturbance in your life. there is no age to fall in love. and frankly i don't believe that love just happens once. it can happen again as well. but yes true love just happens once. not every body finds true love and so if you do you should hold on to it, don't let it go. love is irreplaceable.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
.......
"EVERY DAY I TRY TO LOVE HIM THE WAY I LOVED YOU...RANDOMLY FOOLISHLY I THINK WHY HE IS NOT YOU.BUT THEN AGAIN ITS DESTINY THAT YOU FOUND LOVE AGAIN IN HER ARMS AND ITS MINE TO TRY TO BE HIS IN HIS ARMS. I LOOK ACROSS THE ROOM AND SEE A BUNCH OF LOVELY FLOWERS AND A SMILE ON MY FACE TELL ME THAT THE RUST IS SETTLING DOWN.THE LAST THREAD IS STILL THERE AND I WONDER WHEN WILL IT GO, WONDER WHEN WILL I STOP WORRYING ABOUT THE WRINKLES ON YOUR BROWS...SOMETIMES I FEEL IT WILL ALWAYS REMAIN BECAUSE THE ASHES OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD STILL REMAIN. NO MATTER HOW HIS ARMS HOLD ME OR HIS LIPS KISS ME I ALWAYS DESIRE A LAST WISH,THAT JUST ONE DAY ME YOU COULD MISS .I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU ARE WEAK BUT YOUR STRENGTH OVER POWERED ME. A WOMEN CAN LOVE JUST ONCE THEY SAY I DON'T REALLY REPLY BECAUSE I DONT KNOW IF ITS TRUE. I LOVE YOU STILL DEEP DEEP DOWN BELOW, BUT I HOLD HIS HAND TODAY AND HAPPINESS IS ALL WHAT I SHOW " ~
its complicated because you make it one
so why do i stop being friendly to a guy who falls in for me and especially when i thought he is a frnd...well simply because its irritating, because from day one you made it clear that you dnt appreciate that....and also its suffocating, because you tend to start questioning all the good little deeds he did for you, that was not because he was being ure frnd but because he wanted you to like him...why am i writing this because i got to know through an electronic devise that a person i thought was a frnd has fallen in love with me and has written soo much abt me. and hence the biggest help i could provide him right now iz the fact of not being his frnd anymore because only that would make him move on from me...so tomorrow wld probably be the last day i see him, and then my guy wld tell him that he needs to take a step back from my life, i know it would be harsh, but then that is also the cure because i cant stick around him anymore. no matter wt i say regarding the person with whom i'll spend the rest of my life with, the fact is, that it is beyond the kundli and brahmin crap and that is sense of being complete and happy. friendship is of course the first step to love but it is not the thing only. it requires many more things. few weeks back a close buddy of mine told me that i need to act differently wid my female pals and my male ones and i did not really understand it until now, and i stand corrected. if i spend a nice quality time wid someone its because of the company i enjoy and not that i like him like him. and nor my parents are soo blind that just because a person shares my caste i'll be married off to him because no matter what it is my decision and my parents are no hitler for crying out loud.i am not against love marriage or love in general,,,how can i? its one of the most beautiful things in the world to experience it but being in love with ure eyes closed is insane. i feel sorry for him but i am angry as well.he is no different than the guy for whom he was campaigning earlier.
so this is my vent of frustration...
so this is my vent of frustration...
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
RAHUL gandhi finally arrives....seems so
Rahul Gandhi: No more a political 'Pappu'
Renu Mittal in New Delhi
May 05, 2009 17:49 IST
Rahul Gandhi [Images] took some time took off from his hectic campaigning schedule to address a packed press conference in New Delhi [Images] on Tuesday.
The Gandhi scion, widely touted to be the prime-minister-in-waiting, answered almost each question clearly and painstakingly.
While there was nothing new or startling in his answers, they conveyed the sincerity of an earnest young man who is neither shrill nor loud. Though he sounded like a political novice possessing a fair degree of clarity on certain issues, the confidence in his speech and gait was the result of canvassing across the political landscape of the country.
After the press conference, a Congress activist who has been critical of the young Gandhi, observed, "Pappu paas ho gaya". He admitted that he was impressed by Gandhi's manner of speaking, adding, "It looks like he is on the way to becoming a political leader."
The political buzz so far indicated that Rahul, who is referred to as 'Pappu' by both Congress activists and journalists, was detached and disinterested in the Congress' affairs. There has been a perceptibly stronger demand for the more politically savvy, articulate and charismatic Priyanka, who is seen as a Gandhi who can take the Congress to greater heights. But she has made it clear that politics is not her immediate priority, and disconsolate Congressmen have started looking at Rahul as the next best alternative.
But not many in the Congress, or outside it, know much about Rahul, the leader chosen by his mother, Congress chief Sonia Gandhi [Images], to carry forward the family legacy.
The ease and confidence with which Rahul spoke on issues which, according to him, are central to national politics, revealed a balanced leader who is not afraid to call a spade
a spade, even if it does not help the Congress' cause in the middle of Parliamentary elections.
Rahul revealed that he was 'emotional' about his current relationship with the Youth Congress and the National Students' Union of India. He made it clear that any attempt to downsize or downplay their role in building up the Congress party would be construed as an insult to the Youth Congress.
But there is more to Rahul's press conference than meets the eye.
Before holding the press conference held at Hotel Ashoka, the Gandhi scion had two sets of limited interactions, behind closed doors, with journalists from English newspapers. On both occasions, he ignored the representatives from the vernacular press, which help in the formation of public opinion in far flung areas of the country.
When the concerned journalists created a furore over the 'elitist discrimination', the press meet was thrown open to the entire media.
Gandhi also contradicted his own belief -- that the goals of growth ,development and poverty eradication can be achieved only by political parties which have achieved intra-party democracy -- when he refused to answer questions about the lack of a democratic structure within the Congress.
When it was pointed out that there were no elections to important bodies like the Congress Working Committee and there was no accountability on the part of senior leaders and chief mininisters, Gandhi ignored the query and launched an eulogy on the work being done by the Youth Congress and the NSUI in Punjab and Gujarat, where he had sought to democratise the organisation and hold elections.
Incidentally, former Punjab chief minister Beant Singh's [Images] grandson was 'elected' as the leader through this 'democratic process'. And there is no information on what happened to the other aspirants to that position.
But Gandhi still comes across as a young man who does not believe in living in the past. He believes that it is important to sustain the nine per cent growth rate of Dr Manmohan Singh [Images] so that the poor and the deprived can benefit from the social sector schemes and development projects.
In spite of the fact the Congress might need to drum up the Left's support after the election to form the central government, Gandhi made it clear that he believed that the Left was an old party with old ideas.
He cited their view on the India-United States nuclear agreement as an example, claiming that it revealed their outdated thinking.
Gandhi pointed out that the Left wanted to help the poor and backed the 'Rozgar yojana scheme' of the Centre but was against the nine per cent growth rate at the same time.
"So where do they think the money will come from to fund the schemes for the poor," he
asked, saying that he had basic differences with them in terms of ideology and the approach towards economic liberalisation.
At the risk of further alienating the Left parties, he doggedly and persistently continued to back Dr Singh as the best prime minister the country can have.
Rahul also expressed confidence that after the election, the Left will support the Congress and Dr Singh, adding, "The Left will support a Dr Manmohan Singh government. We will deliver him as the prime minister".
But Rahul, a product of the secular politics and thinking of the Nehru-Gandhi family, stressed that there could be no meeting ground with the Bharatiya Janata Party [Images], as both their economic and political ideologies would never match. He brought up the 'massacre of Muslims in Gujarat, the killings of Christians in Orissa and the anti-minority vote bank politics of the BJP," to substantiate his point.
But Rahul, the fledgling politician, appears to have come of age to some extent. Waging a psychological warfare on the BJP, he asserted that the BJP has given up the fight midway through the elections. The National Democratic Alliance exists only in the mind of the BJP, declared Gandhi, adding that evidence shows that there is no NDA in states like Haryana, Andhra Pradesh, Orissa, Rajasthan and other places.
He added that NDA allies like Janata Dal � United leader Nitish Kumar and AIADMK supreme Jayalalithaa [Images] were keeping their post-poll options open
Gandhi refused to comment on speculations on whether the Congress would prefer to sit in the Opposition rather than forming a fractured government at the Centre. He asserted that the Congress would improve its electoral position, as there had been a positive feeling wherever he had campaigned, and the United Progressive Alliance's allies continued to support the party.
"The sense on the ground is that we are not going to sit in the opposition," he said.
The young Gandhi clearly believes that the party with the largest number of seats has the right to lead the government. He said that if Nationalist Congress Party chief Sharad Pawar [Images] or the Left Front won the highest number of seats, they were welcome to form the government and he would be happy to support them.
It seems that Rahul Gandhi's stamp would be visible on the decisions and policies of the Congress party in the days, months and years ahead. He said he would continue to revive the youth congress and would not take up a ministerial berth unless forced to do so by Dr Singh or his mother.
He has gained in maturity and confidence to take on the entire national media and in the days to come, the nation would see much more of Rahul, who came across as a stubborn yet development-oriented leader. It's a combination Congressmen might find difficult to handle as they learn to live with a new Gandhi on the block.
Renu Mittal in New Delhi
May 05, 2009 17:49 IST
Rahul Gandhi [Images] took some time took off from his hectic campaigning schedule to address a packed press conference in New Delhi [Images] on Tuesday.
The Gandhi scion, widely touted to be the prime-minister-in-waiting, answered almost each question clearly and painstakingly.
While there was nothing new or startling in his answers, they conveyed the sincerity of an earnest young man who is neither shrill nor loud. Though he sounded like a political novice possessing a fair degree of clarity on certain issues, the confidence in his speech and gait was the result of canvassing across the political landscape of the country.
After the press conference, a Congress activist who has been critical of the young Gandhi, observed, "Pappu paas ho gaya". He admitted that he was impressed by Gandhi's manner of speaking, adding, "It looks like he is on the way to becoming a political leader."
The political buzz so far indicated that Rahul, who is referred to as 'Pappu' by both Congress activists and journalists, was detached and disinterested in the Congress' affairs. There has been a perceptibly stronger demand for the more politically savvy, articulate and charismatic Priyanka, who is seen as a Gandhi who can take the Congress to greater heights. But she has made it clear that politics is not her immediate priority, and disconsolate Congressmen have started looking at Rahul as the next best alternative.
But not many in the Congress, or outside it, know much about Rahul, the leader chosen by his mother, Congress chief Sonia Gandhi [Images], to carry forward the family legacy.
The ease and confidence with which Rahul spoke on issues which, according to him, are central to national politics, revealed a balanced leader who is not afraid to call a spade
a spade, even if it does not help the Congress' cause in the middle of Parliamentary elections.
Rahul revealed that he was 'emotional' about his current relationship with the Youth Congress and the National Students' Union of India. He made it clear that any attempt to downsize or downplay their role in building up the Congress party would be construed as an insult to the Youth Congress.
But there is more to Rahul's press conference than meets the eye.
Before holding the press conference held at Hotel Ashoka, the Gandhi scion had two sets of limited interactions, behind closed doors, with journalists from English newspapers. On both occasions, he ignored the representatives from the vernacular press, which help in the formation of public opinion in far flung areas of the country.
When the concerned journalists created a furore over the 'elitist discrimination', the press meet was thrown open to the entire media.
Gandhi also contradicted his own belief -- that the goals of growth ,development and poverty eradication can be achieved only by political parties which have achieved intra-party democracy -- when he refused to answer questions about the lack of a democratic structure within the Congress.
When it was pointed out that there were no elections to important bodies like the Congress Working Committee and there was no accountability on the part of senior leaders and chief mininisters, Gandhi ignored the query and launched an eulogy on the work being done by the Youth Congress and the NSUI in Punjab and Gujarat, where he had sought to democratise the organisation and hold elections.
Incidentally, former Punjab chief minister Beant Singh's [Images] grandson was 'elected' as the leader through this 'democratic process'. And there is no information on what happened to the other aspirants to that position.
But Gandhi still comes across as a young man who does not believe in living in the past. He believes that it is important to sustain the nine per cent growth rate of Dr Manmohan Singh [Images] so that the poor and the deprived can benefit from the social sector schemes and development projects.
In spite of the fact the Congress might need to drum up the Left's support after the election to form the central government, Gandhi made it clear that he believed that the Left was an old party with old ideas.
He cited their view on the India-United States nuclear agreement as an example, claiming that it revealed their outdated thinking.
Gandhi pointed out that the Left wanted to help the poor and backed the 'Rozgar yojana scheme' of the Centre but was against the nine per cent growth rate at the same time.
"So where do they think the money will come from to fund the schemes for the poor," he
asked, saying that he had basic differences with them in terms of ideology and the approach towards economic liberalisation.
At the risk of further alienating the Left parties, he doggedly and persistently continued to back Dr Singh as the best prime minister the country can have.
Rahul also expressed confidence that after the election, the Left will support the Congress and Dr Singh, adding, "The Left will support a Dr Manmohan Singh government. We will deliver him as the prime minister".
But Rahul, a product of the secular politics and thinking of the Nehru-Gandhi family, stressed that there could be no meeting ground with the Bharatiya Janata Party [Images], as both their economic and political ideologies would never match. He brought up the 'massacre of Muslims in Gujarat, the killings of Christians in Orissa and the anti-minority vote bank politics of the BJP," to substantiate his point.
But Rahul, the fledgling politician, appears to have come of age to some extent. Waging a psychological warfare on the BJP, he asserted that the BJP has given up the fight midway through the elections. The National Democratic Alliance exists only in the mind of the BJP, declared Gandhi, adding that evidence shows that there is no NDA in states like Haryana, Andhra Pradesh, Orissa, Rajasthan and other places.
He added that NDA allies like Janata Dal � United leader Nitish Kumar and AIADMK supreme Jayalalithaa [Images] were keeping their post-poll options open
Gandhi refused to comment on speculations on whether the Congress would prefer to sit in the Opposition rather than forming a fractured government at the Centre. He asserted that the Congress would improve its electoral position, as there had been a positive feeling wherever he had campaigned, and the United Progressive Alliance's allies continued to support the party.
"The sense on the ground is that we are not going to sit in the opposition," he said.
The young Gandhi clearly believes that the party with the largest number of seats has the right to lead the government. He said that if Nationalist Congress Party chief Sharad Pawar [Images] or the Left Front won the highest number of seats, they were welcome to form the government and he would be happy to support them.
It seems that Rahul Gandhi's stamp would be visible on the decisions and policies of the Congress party in the days, months and years ahead. He said he would continue to revive the youth congress and would not take up a ministerial berth unless forced to do so by Dr Singh or his mother.
He has gained in maturity and confidence to take on the entire national media and in the days to come, the nation would see much more of Rahul, who came across as a stubborn yet development-oriented leader. It's a combination Congressmen might find difficult to handle as they learn to live with a new Gandhi on the block.
Friday, March 6, 2009
wished for a lullaby
sipping down my last wine,
on this dead day,
'cause i lost a fight.
i wiped off my priceless tears,
and looked up and
saw you.
it was the magic of your
steel eyes.
the way you looked at me'
i could've died
and when you
smiled,
i wished for a lullaby.
trip toed i walked
down the frosty lane.
still thinking why not to kiss you
and then
white crystals came down.
and you put your furry jacket on my side.
and we reached
my front steps
i crimsoned away.
while his palm touched my hand
and pulled me close
and kissed me a goodbye.
it was the magic of your
steel eyes.
the way you looked at me'
i could've died
and when you
smiled,
i wished for a lullaby.
sipping down my last wine
on this wonderful night
i keep you with me
till you finish this
lullaby.
on this dead day,
'cause i lost a fight.
i wiped off my priceless tears,
and looked up and
saw you.
it was the magic of your
steel eyes.
the way you looked at me'
i could've died
and when you
smiled,
i wished for a lullaby.
trip toed i walked
down the frosty lane.
still thinking why not to kiss you
and then
white crystals came down.
and you put your furry jacket on my side.
and we reached
my front steps
i crimsoned away.
while his palm touched my hand
and pulled me close
and kissed me a goodbye.
it was the magic of your
steel eyes.
the way you looked at me'
i could've died
and when you
smiled,
i wished for a lullaby.
sipping down my last wine
on this wonderful night
i keep you with me
till you finish this
lullaby.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Its me v the rest
I vividly remember that it was because of Mahesh bhupathi that I got hooked into tennis but since he would never reach in formidable ground at international grand slam, my focus changed to international players. And so the first one I got hooked to was andy roddik. I guess it was a wimby final and fedex had beaten him in straight sets. And my heart moved on. Not because andy lost but he absolutely dint show any zeal to win. It was at that time that I became an avid admirer to this Spanish guy…Rafael nadal. People call him through different names rafa being a favourite, but for me it has always been naddy. Its been nice two- three years of being his fan. I could never become a roger fan and there is absolutely no reason for it since he is perhaps one of the greatest players the tennis history has seen. Roger shows the shadow of how tennis is supreme. His fore hand is marvelous. But what is amazing about this guy is his determination to win. Naddy has been working hard and hard. It was, as every body knew impossible to beat him on clay but no one would have ever expected him to grab a wimby title. Ah…what a match it was… unfortunately I was in an idiotic train and I could’nt see it but thanxs to you tube I finally did. I am very emotional towards nadals game. I am fixated and I have to seen all his matches. I think I saw all the US open matches of 2008 but could’nt see the final where naddy lost. I started to believe that it was me…but when my baby became the number one player man I was so proud.
Sadly non in my family supports nadal. And all are for fedex. So im always seen fighting.
I don’t know till when will he be a number one and I honestly hope for a long time to come….but still my heart will always be for - NADDY
Sadly non in my family supports nadal. And all are for fedex. So im always seen fighting.
I don’t know till when will he be a number one and I honestly hope for a long time to come….but still my heart will always be for - NADDY
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